​When a young candidate for ministry asked a seasoned elder in our church how to discern the will of God for her life, the elder smiled and said, “Shucks, we all do what we want to do and then call it God’s will.” I laughed along with the rest of the preachers in the room. We laughed because it resonated with our experience, but none of us would have said it out loud. We would have searched for a more spiritual response, one that offered words of wisdom for the young neophyte.   
 
This conversation happened years ago. With each passing year, I’ve become more and more convinced that the elder’s response wasn’t a reductionist view of God’s will; on the contrary, it was a golden, tidbit of wisdom. I’ve come to believe the best way to discern God’s will for our lives is to pay attention to the true desires of our own heart and then pursue those desires with all the passion and gratitude we can muster.
 
The psalmist says it like this, “Trust in the Lord and do good; dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture. Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.” (Ps. 37:3–4) The key to discerning God’s will is to trust, dwell, and delight in God; do this and your heart’s desire will become a trustworthy guide—a compass that will help you discover God’s great desire for your life.
 
If you find yourself in the same spot as my young friend, asking, “What is God’s will for my life?” Here are three things you can do to help bring clarity and confidence to your decisions about the future.

Trust God with your whole heart and do good.  Learning to trust and follow the desires of your heart starts with trusting God more than you trust yourself. Proverbs 19:2 says, “Desire without knowledge is not good; how much more will hasty feet miss the way.”  The danger of making life decisions on the whims of your heart, without engaging knowledge, is the simple fact that our hearts are easily deceived; and sometimes, they are flat–out deceptive. When we make trusting and knowing God our number one priority, God will help us distinguish between our pseudo passions, (the desires rooted in lust, greed, and selfish ambition) and our real passions, (the desires rooted in our true selves, those God-given desires for the things of life that make us fully human.) A good guide for making life decisions when you’re not sure if you can trust your heart is to follow John Wesley’s three simple rules: Do no harm. Do good. Stay in love with God.  

Dwell in the boundaries of God’s land. Sometimes people forget how big God is and fail to grasp how vast are the boundaries of God’s kingdom. It is a mammoth mistake to shrink God’s kingdom to church property, church business, and Christian ministry. When Christians live in a “church-centric” bubble they are prone to forget the boundaries of God’s land includes all of life—every eco-system on the globe, every person on the planet, and every social sphere in society. If you are trying to discern God’s will for your life, it is good to remember, you are free to dream as big as your heart desires. The sky is the limit. There are a gazillion ways for you to join God in God’s redemptive mission of reconciliation. Jesus had a vision for creation. He saw a time looming in the future, when his followers would live in community, loving God, loving their neighbors, and loving the planet in such whimsical ways that the realities of God’s kingdom would actually become the realities of earth. Anywhere you live, everywhere you go, whatever you put your hands to doing, you are in a position to express God’s will and help Jesus fulfill his mission and vision.

Delight in the Lord.  If you are perplexed about a vocational decision or trying to discern what to do next with your life, push the pause button and remember—God is more interested in your relationship with God than what you do for God. Guard your heart, don’t let the values of this world—the values of expediency, up-ward mobility, fame, fortune, and the like—be the measures with which you base your decisions. Instead, delight in God. Drink deep from streams of joy and find time to soak in God’s presence every day. Sing loud. Laugh often. Look intently for the signs of God’s presence everywhere you go, most especially in the people you meet along the way. When you delight in God, the joy of the Lord will become your strength; and like Jesus, the joy that is set before you, will help you navigate difficult decisions and endure the most challenging circumstances. (See Hebrews 12:2.) Your desires will be grounded in your true self and reveal the person God created you to be.   

​In Galatians 5:16, Saint Paul says, “Walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh.” These three instructions from Psalm thirty–seven provide an excellent picture of what it looks like to walk in the Spirit: trust God wholeheartedly; stretch the boundaries of your life to include all of God’s kingdom; delight in God every day. 
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“The compassionate life,” says Henri Nouwen, “is the life of downward mobility . . . the descending way of Jesus. It is the way toward the poor, the suffering, the marginal, the prisoners, the refugees, the lonely, the hungry, the dying, the tortured, the homeless—toward all who ask for compassion.” Jesus invites the rich young ruler—and all others who read this red-letter story—to free themselves from the talons of consumer-driven idolatry and to follow him on the descending way of compassion. It is good to remember this invitation is in response to the rich man’s question: “What must I do to gain eternal life?”  
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In his book, The Cost of Discipleship, Dietrich Bonhoeffer writes, “When Christ calls a [man or woman] he bids them come and die.”  It’s not the best pick–up line . . . “come and die” . . . but it is the great proposal Jesus offers. He invites us to trade our self–suffocating narcissism for a life defined by self–sacrificing love and grace.  Following Jesus and learning the ways of his upside–down kingdom, (where the first are last, the poor are favored, the weak are strong, and the oppressed are set free) is a life worth living for; and Bonhoeffer knew first hand, it was a life worth dying for.    
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Jesus didn’t invite people to join religious institutions, he invited us to follow him! To go where he is going—into the heart of God’s kingdom—and to learn from him how to be our truest selves while helping other’s experience the goodness of God’s heart.
 
Some Christians believe secular culture is hostile to Christianity. Gregory Boyle, author of Barking to the Choir, disagrees. Boyle says, “Our culture is hostile only to the inauthentic living of the gospel. It sniffs out hypocrisy everywhere and knows when Christians aren’t taking seriously, what Jesus took seriously.”

​Jesus invited himself to Zack’s house for a dinner party. He asked the Samaritan woman for a drink of water. He borrowed Peter’s boat as a platform for teaching. The women, who followed Jesus, invested financially in his mission and an unnamed person lent Jesus his colt for the Palm Sunday parade. Jesus believes in us and invites us to share our gifts and talents to help him express the kingdom of heaven on earth. Asking people to share their gifts and their resources acknowledges they have something of worth to bring to the party of life. Simply asking will affirm their dignity; if they share their gifts it will make for a better party!

Jesus invites people to share their stories—as well as their deepest aspirations and wildest dreams—by asking questions. He asks the paralytic, “Do you want to get well?” He asks a blind man named Bartimaeus, “What do you want me to do for you?” He asks the men on the road to Emmaus, “What are you talking about as you travel along?” He asks the woman at the well, “Where is your husband?” And the woman caught in adultery, he asks, “Where are your accusers?” The right question, asked in the right way, will create a protected space for people to explore their hopes and dreams. ​

“Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these.”  Matthew 19:14

In this familiar Red Letter story, Jesus takes children who are being shunned by his disciples and places them on his lap; instantly he moves them from the margin to center stage. Jesus blesses the children and lifts them up as an example of kingdom values, saying for all to hear, “The kingdom of God belongs to such as these.”
 
Jesus always has his eye focused on people who are invisible. He sees those who live in the shadows of injustice and shines his light of compassion and grace on them. He uses his hands to lift them out of obscurity and he uses his voice to acknowledge their dignity.